Ryan Newman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sugarpills) wrote2013-10-10 10:07 pm
sugarpills) wrote2013-10-10 10:07 pm
Entry tags:
nimh
Ryan didn't even know why he was looking in the five-dollar DVD tube. The only things here were these incredibly suck-ass movies that usually didn't deserve the five dollars you were spending. Occasionally you would find some wonderful gem dug deep down in a pile of shit, but that opportunity came few and far between. No Matt Damon DVD's would be found here today.
Not that he or Wilfred needed anymore. They had everything from Saving Private Ryan to True Grit to Will & Grace. Wilfred's fascination for Matt Damon had caught onto Ryan himself. In a healthy or non-healthy way was always something to be debated.
He especially had to wonder about this after the one time a psychiatrist said that he had talked about four Matt Damons giving him multiple orgasms when he was going through some intense therapy. The fact that he had been completely zoned out while saying this made him a little concerned.
He was just about to let the DVD tube stew in its own stinking pile, when he noticed the cover in the corner of his eye. The Secret of NIMH.
And the next thing he knew, Ryan was at the self checkout.
Thankfully, Jenna didn't need him to watch Wilfred today. Ryan was free to flop his groceries on the floor, shut the blinds, and pop the movie into the DVD. After the first few minutes, Ryan spent more time thinking about how incredibly old he was, rather than any other message the movie was trying to give. If anything did hit him, it made him wonder about how he missed it before.
But then the movie really started to get into the plotline. He was introduced to Nicodemus and learned that NIMH actually meant National Institute of Mental Health (holy shit!), and The Plan and The Stone. And that's when things really started to settle in.
Ryan suddenly became aware of an ache that slowly grew during the course of the movie. It started from a little nagging thing, to a hurt that made his stomach turn. It made concentrating on the movie a little harder, but he pushed through it. Maybe he was just a little hungry or something.
Letting the movie run, Ryan quickly made his way into the kitchen. A few minutes and a steaming bowl of popcorn later, he returned to the comfort of the couch, just in time to watch Mrs. Brisby lift the house into the air to save it from a sinking doom. Ryan found himself setting the popcorn aside, and rewinding to the part of Jenner's death. Then when it came back to Mrs. Brisby and The Stone, he rewound it again.
It was so incredible to see how much strength and positivity a person could have. How could a mouse in a cartoon movie have more of that than he probably ever would? How come every organization dealing with mental health always seemed to stab you in the back? (somewhat related topic unintentional) How come Mrs. Brisby was such a good mom, while his....wasn't?
Now that was a good question.
Ryan thought about it for a moment more, and he suddenly recognized where the ache was coming from. And as it did, it grew ten times worse. How come he didn't have a mother who was as loving and caring as she was? How come his mother was stuck in a mental clinic for twenty years, while Mrs. Brisby was out lifting up houses out of mud holes?
Why did Mrs. Brisby love her children, when his mom didn't?
The movie continued on, to the point of Timothy's recovery. The little ache in his stomach turned into a pain in his heart that grew with every question and every realization he had. Every comparison of his life versus a movie made him grow more sad and more jealous, to the point where Ryan found himself crying over the matter. That song playing in the background turned into the most bittersweet thing.
It wasn't fair.
Nothing was for him though, was it?
Not that he or Wilfred needed anymore. They had everything from Saving Private Ryan to True Grit to Will & Grace. Wilfred's fascination for Matt Damon had caught onto Ryan himself. In a healthy or non-healthy way was always something to be debated.
He especially had to wonder about this after the one time a psychiatrist said that he had talked about four Matt Damons giving him multiple orgasms when he was going through some intense therapy. The fact that he had been completely zoned out while saying this made him a little concerned.
He was just about to let the DVD tube stew in its own stinking pile, when he noticed the cover in the corner of his eye. The Secret of NIMH.
And the next thing he knew, Ryan was at the self checkout.
- - - - -
Thankfully, Jenna didn't need him to watch Wilfred today. Ryan was free to flop his groceries on the floor, shut the blinds, and pop the movie into the DVD. After the first few minutes, Ryan spent more time thinking about how incredibly old he was, rather than any other message the movie was trying to give. If anything did hit him, it made him wonder about how he missed it before.
But then the movie really started to get into the plotline. He was introduced to Nicodemus and learned that NIMH actually meant National Institute of Mental Health (holy shit!), and The Plan and The Stone. And that's when things really started to settle in.
Ryan suddenly became aware of an ache that slowly grew during the course of the movie. It started from a little nagging thing, to a hurt that made his stomach turn. It made concentrating on the movie a little harder, but he pushed through it. Maybe he was just a little hungry or something.
Letting the movie run, Ryan quickly made his way into the kitchen. A few minutes and a steaming bowl of popcorn later, he returned to the comfort of the couch, just in time to watch Mrs. Brisby lift the house into the air to save it from a sinking doom. Ryan found himself setting the popcorn aside, and rewinding to the part of Jenner's death. Then when it came back to Mrs. Brisby and The Stone, he rewound it again.
It was so incredible to see how much strength and positivity a person could have. How could a mouse in a cartoon movie have more of that than he probably ever would? How come every organization dealing with mental health always seemed to stab you in the back? (somewhat related topic unintentional) How come Mrs. Brisby was such a good mom, while his....wasn't?
Now that was a good question.
Ryan thought about it for a moment more, and he suddenly recognized where the ache was coming from. And as it did, it grew ten times worse. How come he didn't have a mother who was as loving and caring as she was? How come his mother was stuck in a mental clinic for twenty years, while Mrs. Brisby was out lifting up houses out of mud holes?
Why did Mrs. Brisby love her children, when his mom didn't?
The movie continued on, to the point of Timothy's recovery. The little ache in his stomach turned into a pain in his heart that grew with every question and every realization he had. Every comparison of his life versus a movie made him grow more sad and more jealous, to the point where Ryan found himself crying over the matter. That song playing in the background turned into the most bittersweet thing.
You and I touch the sky
The eagle and the dove
Nightingales
Why couldn't he have a mother like that? What the fuck did he do?The eagle and the dove
Nightingales
We keep our sails
Filled with love
Ever strong our future song
To sing it must be free
Ryan curled in on himself, hands digging into his hair and pulling hard.Filled with love
Ever strong our future song
To sing it must be free
It wasn't fair.
Nothing was for him though, was it?
Every part
Is from the heart
And love is still the key
Is from the heart
And love is still the key
And love it seems
Made flying dreams
To bring you home to me
Made flying dreams
To bring you home to me